二十五
本译文由人工智能辅助工具生成，可能存在不准确之处。如需查阅权威文本，请参考英文原文。
AI-translated. May contain errors. For accurate text, refer to the original English.
中文
那是一个星期六，弟子在黄昏前来到道场。道场近来在灵修方面奉行一种严格的规律。斯瓦米吉已下令：所有梵行修士与出家僧须在黎明前起床，在礼拜室中修持念诵（Japa）与禅定（Dhyana）。斯瓦米吉近来睡眠极少，凌晨三时便会起床。
弟子向斯瓦米吉顶礼之后，斯瓦米吉说道："你看，他们现在在这里是如何修炼宗教功课的。每人在早晚都要花相当长的时间进行念诵与禅定。你看——那里买了一口钟，用来唤醒所有人起床。每个人都必须在黎明之前起身。室利罗摩克里希纳常说：'在早晨与傍晚，心意高度充盈着萨埵（Sattva，纯善）的品质；这正是人应当认真冥想的时刻。'
"室利罗摩克里希纳离世之后，我们在巴拉纳格尔道场进行了大量的宗教修炼。我们凌晨三时起床，洗漱之后——有些人沐浴，有些人没有——便坐进礼拜室，全神贯注于念诵与禅定之中。那时我们有多么强烈的离欲（Vairagya）精神！我们甚至不去想这个世界是否还存在。罗摩克里希纳南达日夜忙于室利罗摩克里希纳礼拜服务的职责，在道场中占据着有如家中女主人一般的位置。他通常以行乞的方式，为室利罗摩克里希纳的礼拜与我们的生活所需筹措必要的物品。曾有一些日子，念诵与禅定从早上一直持续到下午四五点钟。罗摩克里希纳南达备好我们的饭菜，等了又等，最后不得不硬生生地将我们从冥想中拉出来。哦，我们在他身上看到了多么奇妙的坚定不移的虔信！"
弟子：先生，那时你们是如何应付道场的开支的呢？
斯瓦米吉：这是什么问题！好吧，我们是修行者（Sadhus），以行乞等方式所得，便用于支付道场的开支。如今苏雷什·巴布（苏伦德拉·纳特·米特拉）和巴拉拉姆·巴布都已不在了；若他们还在世，看到这座道场，必定欢欣无比。你无疑听过苏雷什·巴布的名字。正是他承担了巴拉纳格尔道场的全部费用。那时候正是苏雷什·米特拉最为我们着想。他的虔信与信心，无与伦比！
弟子：先生，我听说您在他临终时并没有经常去看他。
斯瓦米吉：若他的亲属允许我们，我们才能前去。这是一段长篇故事。但你要确实地知道这一点：在世俗人当中，至亲好友对于你的生死毫不在意，这几乎无足轻重。若你在身后留下一些财产，甚至在你生前就会发现家中已经为此争吵起来。在你的临终之床上，将没有人来安慰你——连你的妻子和儿女都不会！世界就是这样！
谈及道场昔日的处境，斯瓦米吉继续说道："由于经费匮乏，有时我甚至会主张彻底解散道场。但我始终无法说服罗摩克里希纳南达接受这个提议。当知罗摩克里希纳南达是道场的核心人物。曾有几天，道场里连一粒粮食都没有。若讨来了一些大米，却没有盐可以搭配！有些日子只有米饭和盐，但没有人为此在意分毫。那时我们被一波灵修修炼的潮流所携带着前行。煮熟的苦瓜叶、大米与盐——这便是连续一个月的菜单。哦，那些奇妙的日子！那时期的苦修，足以令神圣的存在们都望而却步，更何况凡人。但有一点是了不起的真理：若你内在真有功德，所遭遇的逆境愈多，内在的力量便愈能彰显出来。但我之所以在这座道场里提供床铺和相对舒适的生活，是因为如今加入的出家僧们，将无法承受我们当年所承受的那种煎熬。我们眼前有室利罗摩克里希纳的生命榜样，所以我们并不太在意艰难困苦。这一代的孩子将无法承受如此的磨难。因此我为他们提供了某种栖身之所和最基本的生活所需。若他们得到足够的食物与衣物，这些孩子们便会投入宗教修炼，并学会为人类的福利而牺牲自己的生命。"
弟子：先生，外面的人对这种床铺和家具说了很多闲话。
斯瓦米吉：随他们说去。即便在玩笑中，他们也会偶尔想到这座道场。他们还说，以敌对的态度也更容易获得解脱。室利罗摩克里希纳常说："人应当被无视，有如蠕虫一般。"难道我们要按照别人随意的评价来行事不成？哼！
弟子：先生，您有时说"一切都是那罗延纳，穷苦的人是我的那罗延纳"，又说"人应当被无视有如蠕虫一般"。您真正的意思是什么？
斯瓦米吉：好吧，毫无疑问，一切都是那罗延纳（Narayanas）。但并非所有的那罗延纳都会批评道场的家具。我将继续为人类的利益而工作，丝毫不在乎他人的批评——"人应当被无视如同蠕虫"这一表达，正是在这个意义上使用的。有这种坚定不移决心的人，将拥有一切。只是有些人得到得早些，有些人晚一些，仅此而已。但人必定会到达目标。正是因为我们有这样的决心，我们才获得了我们所拥有的那点成就。否则，我们曾经历过多么艰难困苦的岁月啊！有一天，因为没有食物，我在路边一座房子的外廊昏倒了，大雨淋了我一身，等我苏醒过来时，我已不知身在何处了！又有一天，我在加尔各答做了一整天的零活，没有吃任何东西，直到夜里十点或十一点回到道场才用了一顿饭。而这些都不是孤立的例子。
说完这些话，斯瓦米吉沉默地坐了一会儿，追寻着某种思路。然后他继续说道：
真正的出家生活并非易事。没有比这更严苛的生活方式了。若你稍有失足，便会被抛下悬崖——粉身碎骨。有一天，我从阿格拉步行前往布林达班（Vrindaban）。身无分文。离布林达班还有约两英里时，我发现路边有人在抽烟，顿时生起了想抽烟的念头。我对那人说："喂，能让我抽一口你的烟枪吗？"他似乎颇为迟疑，说道："尊者，我是一名清洁工。"唉，旧日的习气（Samskaras）作用一显，我立刻退步了，没有抽烟便继续赶路。走了一小段之后，我想到，我是一名出家僧（Sannyasin），已经放弃了种姓、家族、地位以及一切——而那人一自报是清洁工，我便立刻退缩了，不愿抽他触碰过的烟枪！这个念头使我心神不宁；那时我已走了半里路。我再次回头，来到那位仍然坐在那里的清洁工身边。我急忙告诉他："给我准备一管烟，我的好朋友。"我不顾他的拒绝，坚持让他准备。所以那人不得不为我准备了一管。于是我高高兴兴地抽了一口，继续前往布林达班。一旦接受了出家生活，便必须检验自己是否已超越了种姓与出身等声誉的束缚。要真正诚实地恪守出家人的誓愿，是多么艰难！在言行之间，决不能有丝毫的偏差。
弟子：先生，您有时将在家者的理想置于我们面前，有时又将出家人的理想置于我们面前。我们应当采纳哪一种？
斯瓦米吉：好吧，先把两种都听着。然后坚守那个对你有感召力的——像斗牛犬一样咬紧它不放。
斯瓦米吉说着这些话，与弟子一同下楼，边踱步边时而低唤湿婆（Shiva）之名，时而哼唱一首关于神圣母亲的歌曲，例如："母亲啊，您是流淌的甘露之河，您以多少多样的方式游戏……"等等。
English
It was Saturday, and the disciple came to the Math just before evening. An austere routine was being followed now at the Math regarding spiritual practices. Swamiji had issued an order that all Brahmacharins and Sannyasins should get up very early in the morning and practise Japa and meditation in the worship - room. Swamiji was having little sleep during these days, and would rise from bed at three in the morning.
On the disciple saluting Swamiji just after his
appearance at the Math, he said, "Well, see how they are practising religious exercises here nowadays. Everyone passes a considerable time in Japa and meditation on mornings and evenings. Look there -- a bell has been procured, which is used for rousing all from sleep. Everyone has to get up before dawn. Shri Ramakrishna used to say, `In the morning and evening the mind remains highly imbued with Sattva ideas; those are the times when one should meditate with earnestness.' "After the passing away of Shri Ramakrishna we underwent a lot of religious practice at the Baranagore Math. We used to get up at 3 a.m. and after washing our face etc.-- some after bath, and others without it -- we would sit in the worship - room and become absorbed in Japa and meditation. What a strong spirit of dispassion we had in those days! We had no thought even as to whether the world existed or not. Ramakrishnananda busied himself day and night with the duties pertaining to Shri Ramakrishna's worship and service, and occupied the same position in the Math as the mistress of the house does in a family. It was he who would procure, mostly by begging, the requisite articles for Shri Ramakrishna's worship and our subsistence. There have been days when the Japa and meditation continued from morning till four or five in the afternoon. Ramakrishnananda waited and waited with our meals ready, till at last he would come and snatch us from our meditation by sheer force. Oh, what a wonderful constancy of devotion we have noticed in him!"
Disciple: Sir, how did you use to meet the Math expenses then?
Swamiji: What a question! Well, we were Sadhus, and what would come by begging and other means, would be utilised for defraying the Math expenses. Today both Suresh Babu (Surendra Nath Mitra) and Balaram Babu are no more; had they been alive they would have been exceedingly glad to see this Math. You have doubtless heard Suresh Babu's name. It was he who used to bear all the expenses of the Baranagore Math. It was this Suresh Mitra who used to think most for us in those days. His devotion and faith have no parallel!
Disciple; Sir, I have heard that you did not see him very often while he was dying.
Swamiji: We could only do so if we were allowed (by his relatives). Well, it is a long tale. But know this for certain that among worldly people it is of little count to your relatives and kinsmen whether you live or die. If you succeed in leaving some property, you will find even in your lifetime that there has been set up a brawl over it in your household. You will have no one to console you in your death - bed -- not even your wife and sons! Such is the way of the world!
Referring to the past condition of the Math, Swamiji went on, "Owing to want of funds I would sometimes fight for abolishing the Math altogether. But I could never induce Ramakrishnananda to accede to the proposal. Know Ramakrishnananda to be the central figure of the Math. There have been days when the Math was without a grain of food. If some rice was collected by begging, there was no salt to take it with! On some days there would be only rice and salt, but nobody cared for it in the least. We were then being carried away by a tidal wave of spiritual practice. Boiled Bimba leaves, rice, and salt -- this was the menu for a month at a stretch. Oh, those wonderful days! The austerities of that period were enough to dismay supernatural beings, not to speak of men. But it is a tremendous truth that if there be real worth in you, the more are circumstances against you, the more will that inner power manifest itself. But the reason why I have provided for beds and a tolerable living in this Math is that the Sannyasins that are enrolling themselves nowadays will not be able to bear so much strain as we did. There was the life of Shri Ramakrishna before us, and that was why we did not care much for privations and hardships. Boys of this generation will not be able to undergo so much hardship. Hence it is that I have provided for some sort of habitation and a bare subsistence for them. If they get just enough food and clothing, the boys will devote themselves to religious practice and will learn to sacrifice their lives for the good of humanity."
Disciple: Sir, outside people say a good deal against this sort of bedding and furniture.
Swamiji: Let them say. Even in jest they will at least once think of this Math. And they say, it is easier to attain liberation through cherishing a hostile spirit. Shri Ramakrishna used to say, "Men should be ignored like worms." Do you mean we have to conduct ourselves according to the chance opinion of others? Pshaw!
Disciple: Sir, you sometimes say, "All are Narayanas, the poor and the needy are my Narayanas", and again you say, "Men should be ignored like worms." What do you really mean?
Swamiji: Well, there is not the least doubt that all are Narayanas. But all Narayanas do not criticise the furniture of the Math. I shall go on working for the good of men, without caring in the least for the criticisms of others -- it is in this sense that the expression, "Men are to be ignored like worms", has been used. He who has a dogged determination like that shall have everything. Only some may have it sooner, and others a little later, that is all. But one is bound to reach the goal. It is because we had such a determination that we have attained the little that we have. Otherwise, what dire days of privation we have had to pass through! One day, for want of food I fainted in the outer platform of a house on the roadside and quite a shower of rain had passed over my head before I recovered my senses! Another day, I had to do odd jobs in Calcutta for the whole day without food, and had my meal on my return to the Math at ten or eleven in the night. And these were not solitary instances.
Saying these words, Swamiji sat for a while pursuing some trend of thought. Then he resumed:
Real monasticism is not easy to attain. There is no order of life so rigorous as this. If you stumble ever so little, you are hurled down a precipice -- and are smashed to pieces. One day I was travelling on foot from Agra to Vrindaban. There was not a farthing with me. I was about a couple of miles from Vrindaban when I found a man smoking on the roadside, and I was seized with a desire to smoke. I said to the man, "Hallo, will you let me have a puff at your Chillum?" He seemed to be hesitating greatly and said, "Sire, I am a sweeper." Well, there was the influence of old Samskaras, and I immediately stepped back and resumed my journey without smoking. I had gone a short distance when the thought occurred to me that I was a Sannyasin, who had renounced caste, family, prestige, and everything -- and still I drew back as soon as the man gave himself out as a sweeper, and could not smoke at the Chillum touched by him! The thought made me restless at heart; then I had walked on half a mile. Again I retraced my steps and came to the sweeper whom I found still sitting there. I hastened to tell him, "Do prepare a Chillum of tobacco for me, my dear friend." I paid no heed to his objections and insisted on having it. So the man was compelled to prepare a Chillum for me. Then I gladly had a puff at it and proceeded to Vrindaban. When one has embraced the monastic life, one has to test whether one has gone beyond the prestige of caste and birth, etc. It is so difficult to observe the monastic vow in right earnest! There must not be the slightest divergence between one's words and actions.
Disciple: Sir, you sometimes hold before us the
householder's ideal and sometimes the ideal of the Sannyasin. Which one are we to adopt?
Swamiji: Well, go on listening to all. Then stick to that one which appeals to you -- grip it hard like a bulldog.
Swamiji came downstairs accompanied by the disciple, while speaking these words, and began to pace to and fro, uttering now and then the name of Shiva or humming a song on the Divine Mother, such as, "Who knows how diversely Thou playest, O Mother, Thou flowing stream of nectar", and so on.
## References
文本来自Wikisource公共领域。原版由阿德瓦伊塔修道院出版。