十九
本译文由人工智能辅助工具生成，可能存在不准确之处。如需查阅权威文本，请参考英文原文。
AI-translated. May contain errors. For accurate text, refer to the original English.
中文
斯瓦米吉在阿育吠陀疗法的治疗下，身体大为好转。弟子此时正在道场侍奉。在照料斯瓦米吉的过程中，他问道："真我（Atman）遍在一切，是万物生命的生命，且如此切近，为何仍难以被感知？"
斯瓦米吉：你自己能看见你拥有眼睛吗？
只有当别人提及眼睛时，你才想起自己有眼睛。当灰尘或沙粒进入眼中引起刺痛时，你才清晰地感到自己有眼睛。同样，这无所不在的真我——比最内在者还要内在——的证悟，也不是轻易就能获得的。通过阅读经典或聆听上师的教导，人对它有了一些认识，但当世间苦楚与痛苦的严酷鞭打使心灵伤痕累累，当至亲骨肉的离世使人感到无助，当对未来生命的晦暗与难以逾越的迷惘使他的心烦乱不安，那时个体灵魂（Jiva）才会渴望证悟真我（Atman）。因此，苦难有助于对真我的认知。但人应当铭记痛苦经验所带来的深刻教训。那些像猫狗一样，仅仅忍受着人生苦楚便含冤而逝的人，他们算是真正的人吗？真正的人，是那些即便在苦乐的强烈交织中，也能保持辨别力（Viveka），知晓其无常易逝的本质，进而对真我生起深切渴慕的人。这就是人与动物之间的全部差别。最切近之物，往往最不为人所察觉。真我是切近中的切近，因此粗心浮躁的人心得不到任何关于它的线索。但那些保持警觉、宁静、自我约束、善于辨别的人，将外在的世界置之度外，日益深入内在世界，证悟真我的光辉，从而变得伟大。只有那时，他才真正证得真我的知识，并在自身实现"我即真我（Atman）"、"你即那个，舍维塔克图"等经典教义的真理。你明白了吗？
弟子：是的，先生。但为何证悟自我知识非要走这条苦难与痛苦之路？与其如此，还不如根本就没有创造来得好。我们曾经都与梵（Brahman）同一。那么为何梵（Brahman）会有创造的欲望？为何个体灵魂（Jiva）——其本质无非是梵——会再次踏上生死的旅途，陷入人生二元对立的交织之中？
斯瓦米吉：当一个人醉了，他会看见许多幻象；但当醉意消散，他便明白那些不过是发热头脑中的想象。你所看见的这个无始有终的创造，不过是你醉酒状态的效果；当那种状态消退，这类问题便根本不会再生起了。
弟子：那么，宇宙的创造、维持等，难道没有任何真实性吗？
斯瓦米吉：为什么没有？当你将自身认同于肉体，拥有我执意识时，这一切都将存在。但当你摆脱了身体意识，专注于真我，安住于真我之中，那么对于你而言，这一切都将不复存在，诸如宇宙是否存在、是否有生死这类问题也将毫无立足之地。那时你将不得不说——
"它去向何方，被谁带走，宇宙消融于何处？它刚被我见到，难道它如今不存在了吗？真是奇异！"（《辨别宝鬘》第483颂）
弟子：若对宇宙存在毫无认知，又怎能说"宇宙消融于何处"？
斯瓦米吉：因为人不得不用语言来表达观念，所以才使用了那种表达方式。作者试图用思想与语言来描述思想与语言都无法企及的那种境界，因此他用这样一种相对性的表达方式，陈述了宇宙完全不实在的事实。宇宙没有绝对的真实性，那种真实性唯属梵（Brahman）——超越心识与语言之彼岸的梵。有什么问题尽管提出来。今天我要把你所有的疑问都一一化解。
正在此时，礼拜室里响起了晚祷的钟声，众人纷纷前往礼拜。但弟子留在了斯瓦米吉的房间里，斯瓦米吉看到后说道："你不去礼拜室吗？"
弟子：我想留在这里。
斯瓦米吉：好吧。
过了一会儿，弟子向窗外望去，说道："今夜是新月，四方都被黑暗所笼罩。这是礼拜迦梨母亲的夜晚。"
斯瓦米吉没有开口，只是凝视着东方的天空良久，说道："你看，这黑暗之中有多么神秘而庄严的美啊！"说罢，他继续凝视着那浓重的黑暗，静静地伫立着，心神沉醉其中。片刻之后，斯瓦米吉轻轻开口，唱起一首孟加拉语歌曲："母亲啊，在深邃的黑暗中，您无形的美丽在闪烁……"歌声终了，斯瓦米吉回到房间，静静坐下，口中时而轻唤"母亲，母亲"，或"迦梨，迦梨"。
见斯瓦米吉陷入深沉的禅境，弟子心中不安，说道："先生，现在请和我说说话吧。"
斯瓦米吉含笑说道："那个以如此甜美而美丽的外在显现所展现的真我（Atman），其美丽与深邃，你能测度吗？"弟子希望换个话题，斯瓦米吉察觉后，又唱起一首迦梨之歌："母亲啊，您是流淌的甘露之河，您以多少形态与面貌在显现中游戏！"歌毕，他说道："这迦梨（Kali）正是梵（Brahman）在显现中的样态。你没有听过室利罗摩克里希纳讲的那个比喻——'蜿蜒游动的蛇与蜷伏静止的蛇'（代表同一事物的动态与静态两个面向）吗？"
弟子：是的，先生。
斯瓦米吉：这次，等我病愈之后，我要用我的心血来礼拜母亲，唯有如此，她才会欢喜。你们的罗古纳丹也是这么说的。母亲的孩子应当是英雄，是大勇者（Mahavira）。在苦难、悲痛、死亡与荒凉之中，母亲的孩子应当始终无所畏惧。
English
Swamiji is in indifferent health. At the earnest request of Swami Niranjanananda he has been taking
Ayurvedic medicines for six or seven days. According to this treatment, the drinking of water is strictly forbidden. He has to appease his thirst with milk.
The disciple has come to the Math early in the day. Swamiji on seeing him spoke with affection, "Oh, you have come? Well done, I was thinking of you."
Disciple: I hear that you are living on milk for the last six or seven days.
Swamiji: Yes, at the earnest entreaty of Niranjan, I had to take to this medicine! I cannot disregard their request.
Disciple: You were in the habit of taking water very frequently. How could you give it up altogether?
Swamiji: When I heard that according to this treatment water had to be given up, I made a firm resolve immediately not to take water. Now the idea of drinking water does not even occur to the mind.
Disciple: The treatment is doing you good I hope?
Swamiji: That I don't know. I am simply obeying the orders of my brother - disciples.
Disciple: I think that indigenous drugs such as the Vaidyas use, are very well - suited to our constitution.
Swamiji: My idea is that it is better even to die under the treatment of a scientific doctor than expect recovery from the treatment of laymen who know nothing of modern science, but blindly go by the ancient books, without gaining a mastery of the subject -- even though they may have cured a few cases.
Swamiji cooked certain dishes, one of which was prepared with vermicelli. When the disciple, who partook of it, asked Swamiji what it was, he replied, "It is a few English earthworms which I have brought dried from London." This created laughter among those present at the expense of the disciple. Despite his spare food and scanty sleep, Swamiji is very active. A few days ago, a new set of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica had been bought for the Math. Seeing the new shining volumes, the disciple said to Swamiji, "It is almost impossible to read all these books in a single lifetime." He was unaware that Swamiji had already finished ten volumes and had begun the eleventh.
Swamiji: What do you say? Ask me anything you like from these ten volumes, and I will answer you all.
The disciple asked in wonder, "Have you read all these books?" Swamiji: Why should I ask you to question me otherwise?
Being examined, Swamiji not only reproduced the sense, but at places the very language of the difficult topics selected from each volume. The disciple, astonished, put aside the books, saying, "This is not within human power!"
Swamiji: Do you see, simply by the observance of strict Brahmacharya (continence) all learning can be mastered in a very short time -- one has an unfailing memory of what one hears or knows but once. It is owing to this want of continence that everything is on the brink of ruin in our country.
Disciple: Whatever you may say,sir, the manifestation of such superhuman power cannot be the result of mere Brahmacharya, something else there must be.
Swamiji did not say anything in reply.
Then Swamiji began to explain lucidly to the disciple the arguments and conclusions about the difficult points in all philosophies. In course of the conversation Swami Brahmananda entered the room and said to the disciple, "You are a nice man! Swamiji is unwell, and instead of trying to keep his mind cheerful by light talk, you are making him talk incessantly, raising the most abstruse subjects!" The disciple was abashed. But Swamiji said to Swami Brahmananda, "Keep your regulation of
Ayurvedic treatment aside. These are my children; and if my body goes in teaching them, I don't care." After this, some light talk followed. Then arose the topic of the place of Bharatchandra in Bengali literature. From the beginning Swamiji began to ridicule Bharatchandra in various ways and satirised the life, manners, marriage - customs, and other usages of society at the time of Bharatchandra, who was an advocate of child - marriage. He expressed the opinion that the poems of Bharatchandra, being full of bad taste and obscenities, had not found acceptance in any cultured society except in Bengal, and he said, "Care should be taken that such books do not come into the hands of boys." Then raising the topic of Michael Madhusudan Dutt, he added, "That was a wonderful genius born in your province. There is not another epic in Bengali literature like the Meghnabadh, no mistake in that; and it is difficult to come across a poem like that in the whole of modern European literature."
Disciple: But, sir, I think Michael was very fond of a bombastic style.
Swamiji: Well, if anybody in your country does anything new, you at once hoot him. First examine well what he is saying, but instead of that, the people of the country will chase after anything which is not quite after the old modes. For example, in order to bring to ridicule this Meghnabadh Kavya, which is the gem of Bengali literature, the parody of Chhuchhundaribadh Kavya (The Death of a Mole) was written. They may caricature as much as they like, it does not matter. But the Meghnadbadh Kavya still stands unshaken in its reputation like the Himalayas while the opinions and writings of carping critics who are busy picking holes in it have been washed away into oblivion. What will the vulgar public understand of this epic Michael has written in such a vigorous diction and an original metre? And at the present time
Girish Babu is writing wonderful books in a new metre which your overwise Pundits are criticising and finding fault with. But does G.C. care for that? People will appreciate the book afterwards.
Thus speaking on the subject of Michael he said, "Go and get the Meghnadbadh Kavya from the library downstairs." On the disciple's bringing it he said, "Now read, let me see how you can read it."
The disciple read a portion, but the reading not being to the liking of Swamiji, he took the book and showed him how to read and asked him to read again. Then he asked him, "Now, can you say which portion of the Kavya is best?" The disciple failing to answer, Swamiji said, "That portion of the book which describes how Indrajit has been killed in battle and Mandodari, beside herself with grief, is dissuading Ravana from the battle -- but Ravana casting off forcibly from his mind the grief for his son is firmly resolved on battle like a great hero, and forgetting in a fury of rage and vengeance all about his wife and children, is ready to rush out for battle -- that is the most finely conceived portion of the book. Come what may, I shall not forget my duty, whether the world remains or dissolves -- these are the words of a great hero. Inspired by such feelings, Michael has written that portion."
Saying this, Swamiji opened the particular passage and began to read it in the most impressive manner.
## References
文本来自Wikisource公共领域。原版由阿德瓦伊塔修道院出版。